We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
