so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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