No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
