i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
