Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
