You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
