Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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