Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
