Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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