i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
