So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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