i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I want to fling myself into the sun
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize