Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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