life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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