Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
