Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
