i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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