He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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