while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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