woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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