Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
