just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
