I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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