it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
