Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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