So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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