you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
