Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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