I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize