WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
