he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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