he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
