You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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