wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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