my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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