im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
pop tarts are not kleenex
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
