I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize