I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
