Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
