i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
