It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
