Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
