Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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