ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
