I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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