party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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