just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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