The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
