Sponge bath it is.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
