so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My cat gives me a boner
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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