There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
