So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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