New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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