i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
