I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
