I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
