oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
