You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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